Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
