Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
