do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
