i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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