just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
