Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
