So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
