i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
