and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
