I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dignity is for republicans.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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