No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
