Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
