Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have feelings that need drinking.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize