East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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