idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
