WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
