In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
