Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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