first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
