Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am naked and annoyed.
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