Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
