omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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