my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
