he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
