I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize