Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
