GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
