Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
