No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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