walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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