Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
