We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
