i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
