but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
