We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
