Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
