Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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