Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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