She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
