The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I wear drunk well.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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