Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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