I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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