wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize