Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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