After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
