I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
