the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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