I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
