Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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