You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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