I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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