I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
