Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
