yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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