don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
