About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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