i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
