so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
where are my eyebrows?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
