Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize