K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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