Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
