He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
